Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair. ~ George Burns

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. ~ Groucho Marx

Bessie Braddock (English politician):  “Sir, you are drunk.”
Winston Churchill:  “Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober.”

A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke – and that the joke is oneself. ~ Clifton Paul Fadiman

Nancy Astor: “Sir, if you were my husband, I would give you poison.”
Winston Churchill: “If I were your husband I would take it.”

A sense of humor… is needed armor. Joy in one’s heart and some laughter on one’s lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life. ~ Hugh Sidey

Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. ~ Mark Twain

Start every day with a smile and get it over with. ~  W.C. Fields

A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself.  ~ Jessamyn West

A day without laughter is a day wasted. ~  Charlie Chaplin

A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles. ~ Mignon McLaughlin

I failed Math so many times I can’t even count. ~  Stewart Francis

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It’s jolted by every pebble on the road. ~
Henry Ward Beecher

A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life. ~
William Arthur Ward

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